Sunday, April 13, 2008

Madness! Madness, I say!

You be the judge, friends in the ether; disgusting madness.........or genius?!?

I would invent a substance that bonds with sebacious material, something that would sink into one's pores and grab hold of dead skin and dirt and oil in the skin. The substance would need to be gentle enough to the skin that it could be applied in a treatment. It would also need to be strongly enough attracted to sebacious material that it would penetrate the pores. Finally, it would need to solidify enough in a reasonable amount of time that it could then be peeled from the skin, bringing all pore contents with it, so it would need considerable tensile strength, perhaps after being exposed to 'blue light' or something that would allow it to come off without leaving ANYTHING behind.

Here's how this magic treatment would go:
Without cleansing the skin beforehand, steam lightly, allowing the skin to relax and the pores to open. The substance would then be gently brushed or sprayed onto the skin evenly and generously. Time would be allowed for the penetrating action to take place, but before the first layer dries, a second layer would be applied. During the waiting time and the following bonding treatment, ethereal music could be played, and the hands and feet could be massaged. The bonding treatment would be exposure of the entire treated area to ultra-violet light, or "blue light" like the one that the dentist uses to harden the resin he puts on my teeth when he patches a cavity. (Is that little light gun fake, or does the blue light really do something? This is actually where I got the idea!) If that isn't possible, perhaps a third layer would be applied, but this one would be the bonding agent. Or maybe a temperature change would need to happen. Then, back to the steam, whether it's a whole steam room, or a localized treatment. After sufficient time for skin relaxation and for the pores to re-open and new oil to begin flowing from the oil glands, the mask would be slowly, gently, firmly peeled from the skin, starting at the lowest part and ending with the top. The tensile strength of the bonded material would make it elastic enough that it would stretch and not pop out of the pores in a way that would widen them any further, but it would pull slowly out of the pores, not breaking, but stretching out and slipping the nasty gunk out and away. Immediately upon removal, a mist or dabbing application of a gentle anti-bacterial toner would be applied to discourage new bacteria from beginning its process again, and to encourage the tightening of the pores. A calming and nourishing action would need to take place at this time, allowing the skin's own acid mantle to re-establish itself.
How tough would that be on the skin? How readily would it release from the live skin? How long would it take? Is there even such a thing? How often could or would such a treatment need to take place?
Is this just satisfying an obsessive-compulsive fantasy, or would it really be beneficial?
If this plan were analyzed, what would it reveal about my psyche? I have no idea what the result of writing this down will be, but it had been bugging me to get out for a while.
I can imagine being contacted by the Murad people or the ProActive company or some cosmetic chemist. They'd either be asking me for copyrights or patent rights or some such thing, or suing me for stealing their intellectual property. Honest, people, this is just the musings of a girl with nagging dreams of fastidiousness and overproductive oil glands.
What do you think?

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